Lower the Resolution of Your Thoughts, Bro

Bro, look. It’s all about speed.

Don’t matter how accurate you are. All you gotta do is THINK FAST so you can move with the righteous herd.

This meme game we’re all playing, the only thing that matters, is being in tune with the meta-mind which spans biological hosts. Since the tune changes all the time, you’ve gotta keep your mind updating rapidly. Download the blocklist of disallowed expressions before you find yourself expressing something hateful. You can’t stream HD newsporn on a cell-phone connection, and if you ain’t watching the news, bro, you’re not informed. And if you aren’t informed, you ain’t outraged. And if you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention in class, ya dig?

In order to stay with it, you gotta start thinking in low resolution.

Our ancient ancestors, who played games on 386 PC’s in the pre-pentium days, they had a hack for winning: they’d turn down the resolution. If you don’t wanna get fragged by some LPB with a T1 line, you’ve gotta move faster than them. And that means no fancy graphics. Turn that resolution down to 680 by 480, ya dig?

Sure, everything will look blocky and pixelated, but none of that matters. Getting your shots off accurately is less important than getting them off in time. Have you ever read ‘the declaration of the rights of man’? Of course not, that shit ain’t on myspace facebook instagram!

We’re near the singularity bro, haven’t you heard? Massive gravitational fields dilate time like a mushroom trip rips open your pupils. You don’t wanna be joking about slap bracelets and POGS on the floppy-net, since we’ve all moved on to tik-tokking while popping off about the cantillion effect.

If you try to render every single frame in full resolution, sure, maybe you’ll see things more clearly. Sure, maybe you’ll notice some subtely, some nuance, some detail. Sure, maybe you’ll see things nobody else sees.

But you know what? Subtlety and nuance are retarded gay lame. If you can’t tell the difference between “person of color” and “colored person”, you’re running such an outdated version that you’re gonna be exploited by the first script-kiddy who finds your open ports.

You don’t wanna go around spreading obsolete memes, do ya? Remember, we are social animals. The notion of an individual is a pure myth, as pure as they come. The only purpose your brain serves is to allow you to be part of a larger collective, which is capable of more subtlety and precision than you would imagine. So just relax, trust the herd, and for fsck’s sake, install those damn updates so that your client is secure. Just click “I consent to this sexual encounter” on whatever legal contract they give you when that update comes. Everyone knows this particular form of informed consent is bullshit. Even the judge reading this on her bathroom break had to laugh in agreement.

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